I bleed, but I seek to suffocate the bleeding, never call for help.
My blood is poison.

For the AIDS awareness project.

I don't normally explain my symbolism, but I feel that in this case, I should do.

The title.
This is both a hopeful look to the future and a cynical look at the past. Initially, AIDS was spread in an era where people sought (and believed they had found) a new level of freedom, through sex, drugs, and rock and roll. The free love and casual IV drug use of this period were huge contributing factors in the spread of HIV and AIDS. Yet I also want the title to allude to the future, and to what medications or the phantom Cure could accomplish. People with AIDS are prisoners in their own bodies. Medical advances may unlock this cell.

The colours.
I wanted something dark and drab, sickly. I made my skintone as pale as possible, to bring out the red of the blood. I made the lighting a blue-green that seems reminiscent of a medical sterility, and yet that in this case leans to the dark side of mildew and decay.

The face.
I shaded my eyes, cheekbones and temples, to create a hollow-skull-like effect of someone who is living the promise of death. I added a touch of purple to my skintone to enhance this corpse-like feel.

The blood.
When thinking about how to convey illness, I kept coming back to a bloody nose and coughing up blood. While not specific to AIDS, these are universal reactions of a weakening body.
I like the symbolism of the blood. It is both a manifestation of the syndrome, and the threat of disease. So the blood in this image represents both the threat and the result of AIDS.

The plastic.
This is sort of an allusion to condoms, rubber gloves, and all things sterile. (You can't tell but the BG in this image is all plastic as well.) Rather than treating the symptoms of AIDS, we are focused on stopping the spread. The subject in this photo is literally suffocating herself in an effort to protect the world from her own suffering.
Incidentally, you can spot a bit of blood on my hand, outside of the plastic. This was unintentional, but a powerful metaphor. No matter how much you try to contain something like AIDS, it can spread before it is even detected.

The face.
I wanted to convey something that was both terror and sadness and anger. Emotionally, I am hoping to situate this picture in the feelings of the subject, the AIDS victim.
I am screaming, and sucking air, and yet no matter how hard I fight to survive, I am suffocating.




On a personal note, today is the fourth anniversary of the day my best friend died. I still remember how her death tore through me. No one should ever have to feel that sense of loss, for any reason. ....Since Meredith was a world-saving kind of a girl, I feel that activist art as a fair way to celebrate her life.


I decided to try out the dA prints feature on this (my first print), as this is a piece that carries a message that I believe in, and I would love it if someone wanted to share that message.